Share the joy
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It’s a simple thought. It’s seems to be the most difficult thing to achieve.

Don’t be a dick.

Seriously. Not just for you but your children too. Tell those runts not be pint size dicks.

No one likes little dicks.  Pause.

First, parents — hey do your job. It’s cool if you don’t want your kids to believe in Santa Claus because you want credit for buying gifts. I mean… do you. If you think a 4 year old is going to understand the economic climate that he or she is living in which prevented the purchase of a very expensive and loud gift, sure.

Santa Clause is a built in fall guy. I wish there was a ‘Santa’ character for all of my misfortune.  I shot 2 – 17 in that game, damn Santa. I just lost an online game in Madden, wasn’t my fault, Santa’s elves told me to call that play that ended in a Pick 6. (True story btw). I plan to use him anytime I can for leverage.

You can’t reason with kids. When you attempt to reason with them you look foolish. Have you seen these parents in grocery stores trying to logically reason with a 3 year old. It’s hilarious. I’m not an expert, hell my daughter is only 1 but I know having a drawn out conversation with a child is an exercise in futility. During this time of the year nothing works more than “Santa is watching”.

“If you don’t put that back you will go on the naughty list”
“Stop that or I’m telling Santa”

Kids straighten up so fast — they end up looking like wooden Nutcrackers.

While you’re explaining to your child that Santa Claus doesn’t exist explain to them that their classmates probably do believe. Explain to them that ruining the fantasy that Santa isn’t real is being a dick. It not only affects the child but the parents too. If an atheist comes up to  your Christian child and tells him that Jesus isn’t real you will be pissed right? Just know the same explanation about Santa not being real can be used for Jesus.

…somewhere my mother’s head just exploded…

Then there’s these “smarty – art” adults who claim to be woke.

“You know Christmas isn’t a real holiday right?”

I know the Winter Solstice story and yeah you have a point but I’m not ruining the day for my daughter in the name of ‘dropping knowledge’. Sorry fam…she’s dozing until I say so. There are always adults trying to ruin the fun for children. My daughter can be woke at a later age. Today, let her unwrap gifts and enjoy the day.

Christmas is stressful. From finances to dealing with family you don’t really care for — for most people there isn’t anything relaxing about the holidays. We should embrace this season. This is the time for miracles. Things that seem impossible somehow work out during this time of the year. It’s weird. You can call it faith, kismet or whatever your belief structure allows you to believe. This part of the year is magical and you need to embrace the magic. Embrace the wonder. Be kind to your fellow (wo)man.  Being kind is the easiest gift we can give to each other. Being understanding and truly accepting is the best gift we can give each other.

Happy Chrismahanukwanzakah, Santa Claus is Black and don’t be a dick.