I’ve seen this question asked many times in various articles and they all stem from a conversation with a social worker. It’s almost as if you should have some HR appropriate answer, “We just want a healthy child” or “We just want to be parents”. But it can’t be that easy, right? At the end of the day during the Home Study you don’t want to be a douche. You don’t want to answer well “I’m hoping for a 6’2 athlete who has an affinity for basketball, can play the piano, score really high on the SATs, invent something and be an Olympian”. You don’t want to be that family. How do you answer that question honestly? Being honest, I want my child to be a little better than me in everything — so a more consistent jumper, slightly more focused on scholastics, a little taller (all I wanted to be growing up was 6’0 and I peaked at 5’10), maybe to play a random sport like swimming or lacrosse — I don’t know. It’s not “build a baby”.
But in my heart of hearts when I truly answer that question I know I want a bi-racial child. Honestly the mix of races are so irrelevant to me, any mix is perfect. When I envision myself as a father I see a girl; MiMo is the nickname I see. Having MiMo walking with me hand in hand with brown curly hair, being funny, vibrant, and curious. I see a child who will be witty to fault — at times
I see a child who has no fear and someone who will consistently try new things. She will not let success or failure predetermine what she feels she can accomplish. I see a girl blossoming into a young woman looking me into my eyes and telling “No dad, you don’t understand me”. (which is similar to something I would have said to my parents). I see the perfect mixture of fearlessness from me and caution from Leaeryn — when I think of her, I think of us.
That question that may or may not come is such a loaded question. At the end of all of it — I see us 3 as a family. At the end of the day, that’s what this is all about.
Our first meeting for our Home Study is Tuesday. We still have so much paperwork left to do…