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Trust the Process.

I keep telling this to myself. I’m sure this is what Jim Dolan (owner of the Knicks) told himself after this 17 win season with Phil Jackson as the President of the New York Knicks.

“Trust the Process.”

This process is long, tiresome and at times emotionally draining. Trust the process. It makes me want to throw a temper tantrum like a child because of having to jump through so many hoops, which logically makes sense, but emotionally makes me ill.

Trust the process.

Our agency has the numbers. They have the success to speak on. They are a nationwide Christian agency which sounds trustworthy. Honestly, they haven’t done anything untrustworthy. It’s just certain aspects of the process makes me uneasy. The adoption book has to look like a scrapbook. It has to look like a power point made scrap book. For someone who has a graphic design background this is painful. The overuse of Comic Sans, poor photo quality, the list goes on. These are the examples they send to use for “inspiration”.

Trust the process.

They need 50 of these books.

Trust the process.

When we look at the photos of our ‘competition’ (we jokingly call all of the other adoptee parents that) they all seem to look the same. Photos outside of barns, videos that look like they are trying to sell the house they stay in; it’s just really, white. By white – I mean like Midwestern Iowa 1950s Americana white.  Lea and I aren’t that. I’m not just referring to color, I’m referring to how we live our lives. We travel across the country, we have friends across the country, and our friends are diverse. We didn’t grow up in one town, were high school sweethearts and never left. It makes me question can they “market” us if they don’t really have any experience with a couple like us.

Our consultant has reassured us that they can.

“Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t.” Jay-Z

Trust the process.

Again their numbers are great. What numbers you may ask. Successful adoptions and ‘take back’ rate. I have to keep telling myself this mantra of trusting the process. I have to continuously tell myself that in this case I’m not the smartest person in the room. I need to understand that my issues are about style not substance.

This week the book will be completed to their standards then we will be in the process of getting 50 books sent out for the birth parents. The good thing is that while we get the books together the birthparents (personally I hate saying birthmother – because it assumes that the father isn’t involved, I’m optimistic that he is/will be) have the opportunity to see our profile online and some were sent one pagers already. There is a method to their madness. I’m just like Melo, trusting the process hoping it will bring me my first child (ring).

Trust the process. Exhale.