My Road To Adoption
I’ve always been hesitant to write my story of how we, but more specifically I came around to the idea of adoption. This was something that was a long time coming. It took a cross country move and the acceptance of a new job for me to even consider adoption. Well before I get to that, let’s back up. If you read our story in the about us section then you know that we have had many miscarriages and Leaeryn has lost both of her fallopian tubes with ectopic pregnancies. It looks as if all the signs have been pointing us to adoption and we may have been too arrogant to see. I have always wanted to be a parent, father, daddy, pops…I wanted to have a progeny, a mini me, who looked and acted just like me. I guess that’s also kind of arrogant. All of those reasons were the superficial ones — being a father is not about the fun times, it’s about those seemingly insignificant moments that can affect a life. A ride to the grocery store, random discussions in the living room, those are the moments that make parenthood so appealing to me. That’s me now, let’s take it back…
I’ve always been around children that were adopted, one of my closest friends growing up was adopted, a woman in my neighborhood always had foster children, a few she adopted, and as I progressed in the workforce I ended up meeting people who would adopt. The first person I met who went through the adoption process was Jenni. I met her while working outside of Pittsburgh in Cranberry Township. Let me tell you one thing about Jenni, if she doesn’t get into heaven then I don’t stand a chance. She is easily one of the nicest, caring and most loving people I know. I won’t go into her story because it’s not my place but she shared with me how she got to the point of wanting to expand her family through adoption. She went the international route and adopted a child from Ethiopia. I would just watch her go through the process and it seems like it took forever. I’m such an impatient person I thought “I could never do that”. (FYI — never say never). She adopted a beautiful baby girl and went on to adopt 2 more in the following years. She was around during a couple of our miscarriages while we were in Pennsylvania. All of them got progressively harder to get over. She was always there with a kind word or assuring me that she was lifting Lea and I in prayer. I never lost hope. I always thought we will have a child, our child — my mini me. I was completely ignoring the joy that Jenni is experiencing through the process of adoption.
Many moons later and 3,000 miles away a job offer came in from Christy. I would be moving from a retail location with my current company into managing a team that assists Small Medium Business customers. I’m not a subscriber of fate but this maybe the closest in my lifetime I have to experiencing it. I applied for this job on the last day before it closed, I was one of the last interviewees and I somehow came out with the job. To this day, Christy is still the greatest boss I have ever had. It’s not because she was easy it was because she ‘got me’. I still haven’t had a boss like her since. She has since morphed into not just a friend but extended family. Christy was beginning the process of adoption when she brought me on and for some reason I became open to it. Maybe it was because I trusted her, I don’t know but it struck me as a possibility. I saw her go through the process and while she was completely open and honest about the length and the need for patience she never seemed weary. She always seemed optimistic and she made the process “real”. When I saw her with her baby girl I didn’t think that’s Christy’s adopted daughter; my only thought was “there is Christy and her daughter”.
Jenni was the foundation to open my mind — but Christy was the one who walked me through the door of being open to adoption. While we were deciding which direction to go between IVF and Adoption and we reflected on those two and realized how happy they are with their adoption experiences. This process for me took years and two dynamic women to open my eyes. Hopefully my story helps anyone else who may consider adoption.
If you feel that you want to contribute to our adoption journey you can at: http://www.gofundme.com/adoptingbabymoore