Bertram and I met in 2004 and have been together almost every day since. We met, became best friends almost immediately, and wow did I fall in love with this guy! He was sweet, funny, intelligent and full of this amazing sense of adventure. I was a little more reserved, honestly pretty much afraid of everything, and he brought me out of my shell. We talked like we had known each other forever, and I just knew that he was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I’m so blessed to be able to say that we celebrated our 7 year wedding anniversary just today! Since that first day back in 2004 we have had so many amazing adventures, and grown so much as individuals, as well as a couple. The only thing we have not been able to do is grow our family.
While we have had so many great times in the last 11 years we’ve been together, no matter how much we’ve prayed, or how many doctors we have seen, we have not been able to carry a baby to term. We have suffered the loss of 10 babies due to miscarriages from 2005 to 2012 and each time the doctors having no real reason why it happened. Some were early on and several were into the 11th and 12th week. In 2012 I was rushed to the hospital in Portland, OR and we were told that I had a ruptured fallopian tube due to an ectopic pregnancy. The doctor was able to save me but the tube was too damaged and had to be removed. We were told there was still hope to conceive because I had another tube that seemed to be working. In 2013 we were ecstatic to be pregnant again, only to lose the baby at 8 weeks. Two weeks later my blood levels were still going up, and the doctor told us that we were actually pregnant with twins and one survived the miscarriage. After an ultrasound to check on the surviving baby the doctors determined that the remaining cells were in my other fallopian tube and were not viable. Several attempts were made to save the last fallopian tube but we were forced to have surgery as it started to rupture. We lost both babies, and now both tubes.
I was in such a dark place that I just couldn’t understand how God would let this happen to us….Why were we not worthy to be parents? We both wanted nothing more than to share our love of everything with our kids and to bring some little awesome people into the world. We wanted to bring new Little Moore’s into a world that desperately needed good people, loving, kind and creative people. Why was God punishing us by taking our chance to build a family? It took us several months of prayer, talking and searching to understand. We were still supposed to be parents, and God wanted nothing more than for us to raise children and know that amazing love a parent has for a child, but right now it was not supposed to happen by me giving birth to our child, but to adopt a baby that needed our love and support.
We found Lifetime Adoption while we were searching for answers and options. We have friends that have adopted, and their experiences have softened our hearts and opened our minds to the understanding needed to really be able to relate to a mother faced with the heart-wrenching task of putting their baby up for adoption. We knew then that God had been there the entire time, but that we needed to understand that there are other ways to be parents and that he needed us to step up for this amazing and humbling task. We would be able to experience that amazing love of a parent and a child, and we would be able to help a mother that needed someone to make sure her angel was take care of and loved more than anything.
We started this GoFundMe campaign to raise the money we need to help us complete an adoption and to give us the opportunity to grow our family. We have the love and support of our amazing family and friends, and if our story touches you or you are able to donate, I say from the bottom of my heart, “Thank you.” I promise to keep the site updated as we continue this journey, and you can also visit our website How We Became. Us to see our adoption story as it unfold.
A very close friend told me that God has chosen us for this, to adopt a child that needs us, and He will make a way. We have to stay focused, continue to love each other, and know that God has us all the way. I take so much comfort in her words, and in my faith that God will help us complete this journey for a child.